Rocket Men

Perfection

2010-09-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

I just read this blog post from "Single Dad Laughing", which is the blogsite title. It is very intriguing discussion of the human condition the author calls Perfection. Here is the link - check out the thoughts posted.

I agree with this author and many others seem to connect with him too. Here is what he is saying after seeing the responses to his post....

Here are the numbers for the first week of the post:

Page views: more than 250,000
Facebook share count: more than 11,000
Twitter posts: more than 380
Comments: more than 800
Personal emails to me: more than 300
Blog mentions: more than 950
I do not share these numbers to boast the popularity of my work. I share these numbers to help you understand the importance of the message. The need for the message. The desperation for the message.

The message telling us all to be "Real".

What do you think? I must admit...at times I suffer from the Perfection disease...how about you?

Legalism - Legalist

2010-09-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

For our working understanding of legalism, I'm going to defer to Chuck Swindoll and his take on legalism...excellent!

Chuck Swindoll defined the legalism problem as:

...when we get into areas that are not set forth in Scripture, either in precept or even in principle. These may be such things as length of hair, tattoos and other body piercings, skirts or pants for women, makeup or no makeup. Those are not scriptural issues. Sometimes these issues are cultural, and you do have to address them when you are in that particular culture. But I think legalism begins when you do or refrain from doing what I want you to do or not do because it's on my list and it's something that I am uncomfortable with.

Then, Chuck gives his blunt advice:

The problem with legalists is that not enough people have confronted them and told them to get lost. Those are strong words, but I don't mess with legalism anymore. I'm 72 years old; what have I got to lose? Seriously, I used to kowtow to legalists, but they're dangerous. They are grace-killers. They'll drive off every new Christian you bring to church. They are enemies of the faith. Other than that, I don't have any opinion!

So, if I am trying to force my personal list of no-no's on you and make you feel guilty if you don't join me, then I'm out of line and I need to be told that.

And everybody said: AMEN!

Moralism - A Moralist

2010-09-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a working definition for what we will call moralism from The Jolly Blogger, David Wayne. I think it is a good one.

"When I describe moralism or a moralist I want to be careful to say that others may describe them differently. To my knowledge there is not commonly accepted definition of moralism that you might find in a theological dictionary or encyclopedia. So, I'll preface all of what I say here with an "it seems to me that . . . "

Those of us who use terms like moralist and moralism, use them loosely as a synonym for pharisee or pharisaism. There may not be an exact one to one correlation between the terms but it points us in the right directions. Moralists tend to follow the Pharisaic approach to life and ministry. Among other things, the Pharisees were characterized by:

1. A focus on external behavior.
2. A sense of moral superiority toward those who don't meet their standards.
3. A corresponding agenda of moral reformation in the lives of individuals and society.
4. A ministry of condemnation - i.e. it is very important to the moralist/phraisee to denounce sin.
5. A separatist mentality - "the world" as the moralist or pharisee sees it, is a source of corruption and defilement which they must avoid.

We could say more, but you can get the idea by just reading the gospels and observing the characteristics of the pharisees."

The Book of Eli discussion

2010-09-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

Last Tues. night we gathered together to watch the movie, The Book of Eli. This is a very thought provoking and interesting movie. If you are more interested, just Google a review and check it out. I'm not in the business of movie reviewing or recommending, so you will be spared my opinions here. The movie did stir a few thoughts in my head regarding "church", the bride of Christ.

The movie has the classic protagonist (Eli, the hero - lead character) vs. antagonist (Carnegie, the character who opposes the hero) plot line, but there is much more. For me, Eli reprsented freedom and Carnegie represented bondage, oppression power and control. Carnegie used the classic means to wield power; money, possessions, food/water and sex.

Eli was pursuing a path that lead to freedom, yet he was distracted by the intensity of his mission, which shackled him in a greater purpose; relationships with others. In The Book of Eli, all elements of the good vs. evil story portrayed the human condition so beautifully.

The question that comes up for me as I reflect is; how does the "church" well intentioned as it may be, wield power and control over people. We recognize the obvious in world history, so I'm not going to dwell on events of the past, a sad story for sure. I am thinking of today. I would submit to you that in today's church, the use of power and control is witnessed in what we will call moralism and legalism. Do you agree? What are your thoughts? How would you define these two terms?

Please add your comments and we will define these terms next time. Thanks in advance for sharing.

Vic

Following the Light - The Way Out

2010-05-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

The apostle John seemed to recognize the light and referenced the light as being a person.

See this...In the beginning the Word already existed. He was with God, and he was God. He was in the beginning with God. He created everything there is. Nothing exists that he didn't make. Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.

God sent John the Baptist to tell everyone about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was only a witness to the light. The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was going to come into the world. John 1:1-9

John is announcing that Jesus is the Light and he was coming into the world. Jesus' teaching through the parables also points us to Light and its power to bring us out of hiddenness (darkness).

Parable of the Lamp
²¹ Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. ²² For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. ²³ Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
²⁴ Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given—and you will receive even more. ²⁵ To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”
Parable of the Lost Coin
⁸ “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹ And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’ ¹⁰In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.”

In both of these parables, Jesus seems to be bringing a certain signifcance to light. He seems to be saying that light is required for us to find the way out and that He is the light. He also is calling those who He is speaking to; to listen, pay close attention. He is impressing on the ones He is speaking to that this is very important.

He wants us to know Him and that He is the way out of the labrynth. The Light will lead us home. And home is where the freedom is, no more darkness, no need to hide in the labrynth of our minds and hearts.

What is required of us to access the power of the Light, to find the way out of the labrynth? More about that next time... your thoughts?

Hope in the Laybrinth of Hiddenness

2010-05-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

Will you journey with me in finding the way out of the labrynth of hiddenness? You've come with me this far, so follow me into the place of hope for the way out of hiddenness. There is freedom in the Way. It is risky and messy but when one finally comes out from behind the mindless pathways of hiddenness in the labrynth, there is an undeniable release into life.

In the first century the apostles who were following Jesus were caught up with a life of hiddenness. There were so many voices competing with Jesus that were offering pathways out of a life of hiddenness. Most of the voices were saying, "this man can't be telling the truth, he can't possibly fufill our laws in himself, get back in the labrynth of laws where it is safe." Thomas asked this question of Jesus;

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life... John 14:5-6

Jesus also said this to Thomas and the others. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Hmmm, you might be pondering all of this and saying, "here we go...this guy is taking me down the road to religion, not another one of those." Hang in there with me, as I've come to discover that Jesus didn't come to take anyone down the road to religion. I really believe the thief is involved in leading people down that road, not Jesus.

Below you will read a famous verse quoted all the time in the context of going to heaven. John 3:16 I have included the verses that follow because there is something for us here in the pathway to freedom from hiddenness.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Did you notice the references to light there and contrasting light with darkness? In my understanding at this point, I think darkness = hiddenness. We all like the darkness, because we think we can't be seen. The labrynth of hiddenness is a place of darkness.

Jesus is referenced by the apostle John as Light.

Could it be that a way out of the labrynth of hiddenness be found in following Jesus? We will explore this possibility next time. Your thoughts?

Finding a way out

2010-04-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

Finding a way out of the labrynth of hiddness is not easy for most of us. Many of us have spent years practicing and performing in the mental maze of hiddeness. We think we are protected there, so we keep searching for new protective pathways. The problem is that as we continue on this journey we are working our way toward exhaustion. We are headed to a turn in the labrynth that brings disillusionment and despondency because we can never find a pathway that fully and completely protects us.

We spend so much self-effort and striving to please others and to mask our real selves. It is really maddening and yet we keep on keepin on, and some times get validation from those around us who don't know any better themselves. And then the ulitmate, we think that all this effort and moral striving pleases God. It is all a lie. It is all deception and it will never lead to fulfillment.

We have lost sight of this truth, "Without faith (trust), it is impossible to please God". Hebrews 11:6 What is trusting in God all about you say? It is first about acknowledging our hiddeness, our efforts to be in control, make our own way, be all powerful. It is coming to grips with the fact that the life I've been living is all about me and I've been bluffing my way along, caught in this hideous labrynth. How to get free, how to find my way out, is there hope? Can you relate to the labrynth of hiddeness? Are you there now? Stay tuned, there is hope, there is a way out. There is good news.

Labrynth of Hiddeness

2010-03-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about labrynths lately. This thinking has been focused on relational hiddeness for me. I really don't know what the signifcance of labrynths are in ones spiritual journey. The pictures I share here are just to get you tracking with me as I talk about how humans (I) hide in relationships, and why this is so destructive. My context is mainly in the world of men, and that is where I will focus this blog post.

The labrynth that I visualize is the one above, made from shrubs. In this labrynth see how I could hide around the corners and get lost, seeking the next turn to stay away from you. It could be a fun game to stay hidden from you, as you try desperately to find me. It's the old "hide and go seek" game I used to play with my neighborhood friends, only this time in a labrynth.

Unfortunately, I have learned that I can play that same game with relationships and I don't need a labrynth. The labrynth of hiddeness exists in me. I have crafted the labrynth out of the pain, hurt and guilt I've experienced in relationships over the years. Actually I was born into the labrynth so to speak. Here is how that happened. Take a look at what is recorded in the Bible...Genesis Chapter 3 -

¹ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

² The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

⁴ "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

¹⁰ He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

Hiding was the response the first humans had after they disobeyed God and chose to be their own Gods. Adam and Eve set hiddeness in motion for the rest of us and we've been practicing it ever since...creating elaborate labrynths of hiddeness for our lives. We even deny and make excuses for our hiding, just as our ancient ancestors did in the Bible. Not much has changed over the centuries. There are more stories of hiddeness in the news every day.

The good news...there is freedom from the labrynth of hiddeness, and the cost for the freedom is free for you and me. Free for you and me, doesn't that sound good! In my next post I will share with you how I came into this freedom and am continuing to experience it in deeper ways every day. Love has everything to do with it, but that is for the next post. See you soon.

Winter Olympic observations

2010-02-23T22:10:00.000-08:00

As a family, we have been enjoying the Winter Olympics together on television. The games are going on just north of us and several times we've been tempted to hop in the car, head to Vancouver, to see some events. Our enthusiasm was squelched when we found that ticket prices are just outrageous.

On the left is a picture of some Olympians who participated in the winter games of 1960. The games were held at Squaw Valley in No. Calif./Nevada. These athletes were true amateurs. I was explaining to Ellie and Carly, the Olympics are not for amateurs any longer.

Every event we watch, for the most part, is filled with what are essentially professional athletes. For me, an older guy, some of the Olympic intrigue and connection is gone. The sponsorship of these athletes is all about big money.

Seeing perseverance, teamwork and comraderie amongst the athletes is somewhat redeeming for me. I'll hang in there for a few more nights. It is a family night activity and a time for sharing too.

Open door to Bo's Cafe

2010-01-11T07:19:00.001-08:00

Welcome to Bo's Cafe. We have good coffee here, occasionally we serve some amazing desserts, but that all depends on the chef, whether he's up to it or not. Guaranteed there are some interesting characters here. Bo's meets at www.boscafe.com but you can also find us at other places around the states. Sometimes the cafe gathers in a home. Stay tuned!

Bo's Cafe

2010-01-11T06:56:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been to Bo's Cafe? I'm not sure many people have really and that saddens me. Why do so many people choose other places to visit, places that offer no hope, no help, no healing? Why? Why? Why? I had an acquaintance, we will call him Mack, who never entered Bo's Cafe. I gave him an invitation several times. I even said I'd go with him.

For whatever reason, he chose not to come with me. He lived in so much pain, so much confusion and so much brokenness. Bo's Cafe could have been a place of refuge for him. There he would have found men who would have welcomed him, listened to him and joined him in his pain. Mack often chose alcohol to numb his pain; alcohol instead of real relationships. He knew it didn't work for him.

I attended the celebration of Mack's life yesterday. There were quite a number of folks there sharing that Mack worked hard, played hard and tried hard in this life. He was a relatively young man; two teenage kids will miss him more than they know right now.

There is pain in my heart for Mack and guys like him. My comfort rests in that Mack is at peace now, no more angst, striving, struggling, brokenness or pain for him.

Let's turn to you. Would you come to me to Bo's Cafe?; a place of love, healing, forgiveness, freedom and grace-filled relationships with a group of broken people. Bo's Cafe is real and alive today. Stay with me for more and pick up the book, Bo's Cafe at www.amazon.com

Brokenness

2009-11-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

I came across this exerpt in a comment on the TrueFaced blog. The blog was talking about having grace for ourselves in our faith journey with Christ. When we mess up it doesn't disqualify us from continuing to share the truths of living life in His grace. With this context, here is the exerpt.
From the book “God in the Alley” by Greg Paul
If you had asked me when I was, say, twenty-five, how I could be the presence of Jesus, most of what I would have told you—assuming I understood your question at all—would have centered on ways I could possibly have modeled his strength, purity, or faithfulness..And if you had gone on and said, “Where or how do you think you could see him in other people?”—well, I would have thought you were talking gibberish, to be honest. But if I had been able to get my head around the question, I would likely have said something about seeing that strength, purity, and faithfulness at work in others.
Of course, the biblical writers encourage me to be strong (in the Lord, and in the strength of his might, according to Paul`’), exhort me to be pure, and call me to faithfulness. These are the behavioral goals to which I ought rightly to aspire.
However, these stories of my friends reveal a peculiar paradox: I am more likely to have Jesus revealed to me and through me in weakness than in strength, sinfulness than in purity, or doubt than in perfect faithfulness. If I can sum up all these “failures of the spirit,” all these ways in which nothing ever seems to work the way it should—not the people around me, not the sequences of events that I witness or in which I find myself engaged, and certainly not the operation of my own contrary heart—if I can sum up all these things with the single term brokenness, then I come to this astonishing conclusion: Jesus is found in brokenness.
This is the surprise of brokenness. The all-powerful Lord may seem distant and even frightening; the spotlessly perfect and unique Christ may seem unattainable. But I know what it’s like to cry out in desperate prayer; I, too, seem to need to suffer in order to learn how to be the Father’s obedient child—although, unlike the Son, its generally my own sins that cause my suffering. It’s the broken Jesus whom I can approach and even, in some small way, begin to emulate. It is he who connects me to the Lord and Christ.
The surprise of brokenness is not just that the Almighty allowed himself to be broken, and that he invites me to touch him there in that brokenness. It’s also that my own brokenness—that hidden, ugly, twisted stuff that I had expected would disqualify me forever from his friendship, and that, if it were known, would torpedo all my other relationships too—is precisely the place where he desires to touch me, and it is the place where I am most able to truly connect with other people.
My brokenness, then, turns out to be a place of meeting. My friends from the street keep me at a distance as long as they consider me to be whole and holy; when they discover the truth that I am messed up too, we find common ground.
Shortly after writing it, I gave a draft copy of the story of my almost fight with Derek to a friend to read.. He had come from the street, was valiantly battling addictions, and had been speaking to me about the riot of resentments he was experiencing in dealing with some of his past associates. I had told him several times that I often experience similar feelings myself, but that seemed difficult for him to accept. Many of my street friends seem to think that because I am a pastor, I must be of a different species from them and perhaps not capable of the same kind of emotions, instability, or dysfunction. By nature, I’m not inclined to quick displays of anger, and I’ve had years of experience dealing with truly objectionable people and situations in a (mostly) calm manner. Although he knew me well, the story was a surprise to my friend. And it was a gift. To both of us. He understood immediately that I was choosing to make myself vulnerable to him, and he treated that confidence—and me—with supreme tenderness. It encouraged hint to know that I really do share some of his struggles and helped him to see that they are part of the human condition, not just more evidence that he himself is a screwup.
As long as I pretend to myself and others that I am “just fine, thanks,” I keep people—and even God; especially God!—at a distance. When I admit my brokenness and enter into more intimate relationships with God and his people, I am less inclined to judge others’ brokenness. Instead, I can dignify it, recognizing and mourning the deep pain and alienation that is the inevitable result of being sinful people living in a sinful world but rejoicing also that we are together in this, and that God is with us, meeting us at the very point of our need. Essentially, this is simply the practice of confession, and confession is truly good for the soul. It releases me from the pressure of having to pretend that I am other than I am. And that honesty forbids me from requiring very much of others.

Parable of the Two Sons and more

2009-11-25T19:39:00.000-08:00

The Wed. morning men's group I am blessed to lead just finished a study of Jesus' well known parable, The Prodigal Son. If you want to read it for yourself, see the gospel of Luke chapter 15. Our study of this parable was directed by pastor Timothy Keller and the study is called Prodigal God. A deeper study of this teaching of Jesus reveals that this is a story of two sons, both of whom are lost.

During the study most of us were convicted of aspects of our lostness and the fact that we entered into the religion of Christendom instead of truly desiring a relationship with our Father in heaven through Jesus. We were blown away week after week as more of our hearts were revealed.

The transparency and vulnerability of this group of men allowed the Holy Spirit to move freely in our midst, which led us into greater intimacy with our Lord and each other. I think I speak for all of us in saying that we can't recommend this study highly enough to you.

Boys and Balsa Wood Airplanes

2009-10-17T06:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm going back in time with this one, but remember balsa wood airplanes. Gliders would be a more appropriate name for them. I used to have a blast flying these planes, getting them to glide gracefully in the breeze.

I was thinking about what activity I might do with the 6 year old boy I mentor and into my head came, fly a glider. I wasn't sure if they even existed, as I haven't seen many flying around these days. Together we went to our local drug store and sure enough, there were several to choose from, yahoo!

I picked the good old fashion one, pop the wings out of the mold, slide them into place and Bingo!, we were ready to fly. We have been having a blast throwing the plane up into the breeze and watching it glide, do rolls, turns and flips in the air. I highly recommend it! Cudos to the imagination that our Creator put in us to create the airplane. Balsa wood gliders drew me back to the simplicity and wonder of flight, and yet was quite complex in the beginning for Orville and Wilbur Wright, many trials and errors.

Go out and get yourself a balsa wood glider and have some fun. I think it will bring out the little boy in you, and if you have a little boy nearby, bring him along. Hey, you might try it on a teenager too.

BOB - Time to gather

2009-09-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

Time is growing close for men to gather together, reunite, lock arms and journey towards the essence of manhood. I have come to understand that growing in this walk with Christ happens in community, a community rooted in Grace. So... I look forward to meeting with men who lead in humility, embrace the mystery, desire authenticity and seek freedom in relationships.

Tuesday night, Sept. 15th, 6:30 p.m. at the Woodward's house is when and where we lock arms in the walk or run to knowing Him. This is an open invitation to you, please consider joining us!

Band of Brothers - BOB

2009-08-17T17:13:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen the Dvd series, Band of Brothers? It is an incredible series filled with the essence of being a man in many stories from the front lines during World War II. I was riveted to my T.V. set and couldn't stop watching the series when it was loaned to me by a friend. There is so much to mine from the relationships of the men involved in the story. Out of the series, one finds examples of leadership, community, companionship, trust, conflict and brotherhood. I'm feeling led to share this series with men this fall and see where the Lord leads us in this journey. Brothers in Christ, do we fully understand the meaning of brotherhood, like the men in The Band of Brothers? Stay tuned to the start-up date, the journey will begin soon. Are you called to join us?

Here is something from John Eldredge's book, Waking the Dead, that speaks of the need for banding together for discernment.

Rushing the Field
08/21/2009

A friend of mine wanted to teach English as a second language in an Asian country, as a way of becoming a sort of undercover missionary. A beautiful dream, one that I’m sure she would have been excellent in fulfilling. But she rushed to the field unprepared in many ways. I don’t mean finances and language skills; I mean in the ways of the heart. Lurking down in her soul were some deep and unresolved issues that would set her up for a fall: among them shame and guilt from an abusive past. The team she joined was totally unfamiliar with the new heart, and they doubted its goodness; as with too many Christian ministries, shame and guilt were often used as motivators. Their old covenant theology would play right into Susan’s issues, shut down her young heart. Finally, she was unpracticed in spiritual warfare, ill-equipped for what hell would throw at her. The devil is a master at shame and guilt. She went; she got hammered; she came home, defeated. Her friends wonder if she’ll ever try it again.

The disaster could have been avoided. Wisdom was crying out: do not rush the field (Luke 14:31); train yourself to discern good and evil (Heb. 5:14); live as though your life is at stake, and the enemy is waiting to outwit you (Matt. 10:16). God has given us all sorts of counsel and direction in his written Word; thank God, we have it written down in black and white. We would do well to be familiar with it, study it with all the intensity of the men who studied the maps of the Normandy coastline before they hit the beaches on D-Day. The more that wisdom enters our hearts, the more we will be able to trust our hearts in difficult situations. Notice that wisdom is not cramming our head with principles. It is developing a discerning heart. What made Solomon such a sharp guy was his wise and discerning heart (1 Kings 3:9).

We don’t seek wisdom because it’s a good idea; we seek wisdom because we’re dead if we don’t.

(Waking the Dead , 99–100)

Boundaries and Walls

2009-06-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about boundaries and walls in the context of relationships with others. I really dislike wall building between people and have seen walls built for the silliest reasons over the years. In my observations, walls are rather quickly built through miscommunication and misunderstanding. Many times, the wounded heart will erect a wall for heart protection and that wall may never come down, even though the other party humbles themselves and seeks reconciliation. I think Jesus came to tear down the walls we build around our hearts, more on that later.
Walls are different than boundaries. When I think of a wall what comes to mind is a concrete block wall or a wood wall that separates one person's property from another for privacy. As a kid, I remember climbing over walls that separated our So. Calif. suburban yards to see who was swimming in the neighbors pool, with the hope that when they saw me they might invite me swimming. It was a major effort to scale that barrier and my efforts weren't always greeted with a warm welcome. The wall did what it was supposed to do, give the neighbors privacy and prevent me from entering their backyard world.

People put up walls in relationships in the form of a masks. Mask wearing is all too common. The essence of mask wearing is hiddeness. For many different reasons, the wounded heart fashions a mask for protection.The saddest thing to me is that mask wearers never receive love. Their masks prevent them from receiving love that penetrates the heart. When you try to love a mask wearer and attempt to go deeper in relationship; they usually run to their closet full of masks and a wall is formed.

How do you deal with this wall building in relationships? This is one of the areas where boundaries come into play.

Boundaries are different. Here is what Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. says about boundaries in relationships, he is talking specifically about marriage in this case, but I think his words are applicable for most relationships.

Healthy Boundaries.

Boundaries are an imaginary and internal line where your self ends and another's self begins. There are three types of boundaries: rigid (unhealthy because they are inflexible and disinterested in the perspectives of others); enmeshed (unhealthy because they are so weak that they cannot guarantee safety); and permeable (healthy because they are strong and flexible; able to accept a learning posture while restricting influences which are unsafe for the marriage). God-centered marriages work to maintain marriages with permeable boundaries.

I love the word permeable in respect to a healthy boundary in relationships. A permeable membrane will allow certain molecules or ions to pass through by diffusion. Th at is for you science buffs. In human relationships I think trust is the key in increasing permeability thus increasing the health of the relationship.

Permeable boundaries are necessary in relationships. They help you maintain relationship and keep open the opportunity for another person to experience love, acceptance and grace.

There are other boundaries that we need in our lives. More on that next time. Your thoughts and experiences?

Men in The Great Adventure

2009-05-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

These men, friends and co-laborers, finished The Great Adventure with me this May. This study is part three in a men's series titled, Mens Fraternity. We have been together three years on the journey, seeking God in the process of becoming men who; reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously and expect God's greater reward.

We have grown as men, husbands, fathers and servants of the King. What a tremendous blessing to hang with these men over the years. The best is yet to come!

An emotional butt-kicker

2009-04-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

My wife Monique coined this description for her experience of a week ago, "this has been an emotional butt-kicker". She was referring to a car accident our girls were in with our niece Amy.

The picture to the left shows, Marti (Amy's mom) Monique, Ellie and Amy sitting in one of the E.R. rooms at UC Irvine Medical Center. They all mustered up smiles for th

e camera, but inside they were pretty torn up and wasted.

Carly couldn't conjure up a smile for the camera, as her eye was very sore, swollen shut, and needing stitches. We spent 12 hours in the ER last Saturday nig

ht waiting for Carly to be treated. Ugh! That particular night, 17 trauma cases were came via ambulance to the E.R. Wow! Unfortunately this

meant Carly was put on the back burner and we waited a long long time for the ophthalmologist to finally stitch up her eyelid. It was quite an ordeal for all of us.

God was with us throughout this experience. He brought an ambulance to the crash scene which

just happened to be driving by on the freeway. They stopped without ever having to be called. God's hand! God calmed Ellie's heart and prompted her to pray for her niece and sister in the midst of a somewhat chaotic scene. Carly was bleeding pretty profusely from her eye. My nephew Brian, who is currently a police academy cadet, arrived at the scene before any emergency vehicles and responded with care and wisdom. He ended up getting the girls released to him and driving them to the E.R. without need for an ambulance.

Once admitted to the E.R., we were cared for by nurse Joy, who assessed the injuries quickly and gave attention to all our needs. She was in the midst of a wild evening with all those trauma victims coming to the hospital. Yet, she kept checking in on us and did the little things to comfort us.

Thanks to her help and presence of mind (God's guidance again) we endured the evening/next morning. Her persistence moved Carly into an operating room setting and anesthesia, when at one point it looked like her eyelid was going to be stitched up with just local numbing anesthetics to her eye. Wow! I would have been the primary assistant had this idea continued. Scary thought!

So...what is all this doing on the Rocket Men blog? I'm posting this here for a couple of reasons. Monique and I had just come from our Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage conference in Whittier. It went very well, many couples pressed the "Restart Button" in their marriage, asking forgiveness of each other, stepping into humility and grace.

Laugh Your Way does a beautiful job of presenting the differences between males and females. These differences were very evident in the E.R. Monique and I needed each other and specifically how God has made us to be complete in that moment with our girls. By understanding who Monique is as woman and also according to her life passions, I was able to compliment her in a very stressful time. She was able to help me provide the proper care and comfort for the girls. It was a beautiful dance between husband and wife.

As I write, our girls are healing and will be back to school after spring break. We are recovering from this "emotional butt-kicker" as parents. God is showing us again that life is precious and fragile. We are not in control, but thankfully He is and we can trust Him. As you turn and gaze at the Cross of Christ this week, I hope you will see beyond to the next day and LIFE! He offers you a LIFE of freedom in His grace, love, acceptance and forgiveness.

Light and Transparency

2009-03-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

I have been reflecting on this passage, Luke 11:35 (The Message)...

"No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer. It's put on a lamp stand so those entering the room have light to see where they are going. Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is and dank cellar. Keep your eyes wide open, your lamp burning, so you don't get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room."

Our men's study through Erwin McManus' book Wide Awake began Wed. March 18th and we are walking into discovering what it means to live lives fully alive, AWAKE. In the passage above, Jesus teaches us, as only He can do through metaphors and analogies, that living fully alive is like being a lamp.

When we live our lives transparently, the light of Christ is able to bust out all over others in our circle of influence. Why do we bend towards hiddenness, tucking ourselves neatly away in the inner drawers of our hearts? Come join us on Wed. mornings at 6:00 a.m. as together we continue the process of living fully alive in the Light.

Wide Awake

2009-02-16T15:50:00.000-08:00

I'm reading a very thought provoking book titled, Wide Awake by Erwin McManus and finding his call to living life Wide Awake is really what God calls us to as followers of Christ. In fact the Scriptures exhort us to live fully and completely human lives the way we were originally created in the garden. This is possible for all of us who follow Christ, for He is re-creating us, renewing our minds, transforming us as we dream and engage with Him in our daily lives.

The apostle Paul references this wide awake living in Ephesians 5:8-18, The Message; see below:

You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it. Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,
Climb out of your coffins;
Christ will show you the light!
So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get.

In Men's Fraternity, The Great Adventure, we are rekindling our dreams as men. This has been a difficult exercise for me and for other men. Dreams, dreaming, hmmmm, I haven't done that for years. We are hearing the call to Wake Up. God wants to join us in our dreams. He wants us to dream big with Him. Have you stopped dreaming with God? Ask Him to help you dream again.

A Masked Christmas Surprise

2008-12-24T08:32:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

It has been two months since I've sat down at the computer to do some blogging. There have been several thoughts on my mind to write about but just haven't taken the time to sit down and journal on this blog. If I don't take the time, the thought goes off into space and gets lost for a time. Frustrating! Can you relate?

This remembrance though will be etched in my mind for a long time. The etching carves deeper because my emotions were seriously stirred and emotions, when linked to life events, are the tools of memory makers.

We are enjoying a White Christmas here in northwest Washington; the first one in a long time. As I write on Christmas Eve there is a sprinkling type rain falling, which is threatening the snow dusting which highlights the trees, but I suspect the white blanket of snow on the ground will stay through Christmas.

Now for the surprise; yesterday afternoon, around 4 p.m., for the first time in many many years here in Friday Harbor, Christmas carolers came to our front porch. They were very mysterious because all of them were wearing ski masks. They came with loud boisterous voices, belting out familiar carols but I could not identify the faces behind the masks. There was laughter amongst the caroling and it definitely seemed that they knew me. Who could this be?

My daughter-in-law Lindsey and son Damon, here from Arkansas, and a little boy Adolfo who we were are caring for were the only ones in the house with me. I looked and looked at each face but was completely stumped. Who are these people? I began to suspect they might be some of my son's old high school friends stopping by to say hello. But then, would they be caroling?

The carolers continued to belt out the carols with laughter and joy. At about this same time, my wife Monique and her mother came in the back door to the house. We are all stupefied by the carolers and could not figure out who was behind the masks. Daughters Ellie and Carly were off sledding with friends so we didn't have their help in figuring out the mystery.

Finally, this band of merriment began to take off their masks. Much to our surprise, the voice behind the deep HO! HO! HO! was my brother Tom and his family; wife Marti, daughter Amy and son Brian. Wow! We were all in joyous shock. Merry Christmas! they shouted and we all hugged and laughed for what seemed like hours later. What an incredible memory that has been carved in our hearts and minds.

In my next blog...I'll share what makes this masked mystery even more amazing.

A Supernatural Coke

2008-10-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

On Thursday Oct. 30th I flew out from Seattle to Little Rock, AR with a stop in Denver. My mission is to visit son Damon and his wife for a long weekend. On the leg of the journey from Denver to Little Rock, God showed up in the effervescence of my diet Coke. Really! In Reality, God was and is all around me, but He gave me a sign that I will never forget.

Before I tell you what the sign was I must mention that for me to have a diet Coke is somewhat out of character. I don't usually drink diet Coke. I will occasionally have one with my friend Paul, who usually has quite a diet Coke stash in his refrigerator. That is about it as far as diet drinks go for me.

As the stewardess came down the isle and poured classic Coke to most folks, I was really tempted to have the "real thing." My mind tossed back and forth between diet and real, diet and real, with an occasional, "just have water" thought thrown in to mix things up. Anyway, I said, "diet Coke please" when the stewardess posed the question, "what would you like to drink sir?"

She set the plastic glass down on my tray table and as I went to pick up the glass someting incredible appeared in an ice cube. It was a perfect cross, the cross of Christ. The bubbles continued to fill the ice cracks with effervescence setting the cross a glow. It would not go away. I'd take a sip of diet Coke, set the glass down and there it was again, glowing against the backdrop of the carmel colored Coke.

In our Wednesday morning men's group we are going through John Eldredge's book, Walking with God and learning about hearing God's voice, listening for His voice. The Cross in my Coke set me in immediate listening mode this afternoon. As I'm listening He is telling me to watch Him heal, watch Him reconcile, watch Him restore, it will happen all around me if I watch. He is also telling me to "watch out" there is a theif who wants to rob and destroy these God moments from me. So I will stand firm and resists, as He instructs me and put on the full armor He has given me. It is the way of Walking with God.

What is He talking to you about today?

The Great Adventure

2008-10-05T06:51:00.001-07:00

The Great Adventure is the third year of Men's Fraternity, a men's study designed to help men to grow in their walk with Jesus and to live out true manhood in out times today. Carly and I embarked on an adventure up this high wall during father/daughter weekend at Warm Beach Camp in September. We both stepped out and took a risk, knowing it was going to be challenging. Whew! We got a workout!

The manhood adventure includes many challenges. The questions we will be tackling this year as men are; Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? I think every man comes up against these questions at various season of life. We are created for community and answers to our questions come to us as we journey together. This is going to be an exciting year. Please feel free to join us on Tues. evenings, 6:30 pm. Call 378-8435 for directions.

A Touchpoint with Sons

2008-08-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of summer for me came with a ceremony we had with sons on Jackson Beach in Friday Harbor. We gathered together as dads to affirm our sons. It was a blessed evening, God orchestrated.

One of the men in our group used his shop tools to craft a beautiful wooden sword. Men gathered around a beach fire in prayer and thanksgiving for their sons. Here, friend Dave Wolf, knights his son Brian with words of truth and affirmation. Dave created a beautiful manhood creed for his sons and they shared it together. When I think of discipleship, I will always remember this evening and the process started by these dads with their sons.

Affirmation Story continued...

2008-07-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

I love this passage in The Message, Hebrews 10:25 - "Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching."

Psalm 10:17 - "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry." NIV

1 Corinthians 14:3 - "But those who proclaim God's message speak to people and give them help, encouragement, and comfort." The Good News Bible

Affirmation and encouragement appear to be from the voice of God in good times and in bad. I think affirmations are part of God's universal love language to His people and His people need to be speaking His voice to each other continuously in these times.

A tool I have used that really helps in sharing Affirmations is one Leadership Catalyst has produced titled, Experiencing Affirmation. Go to: http://www.truefaced.com/ to purchase this fantastic tool to bless your family, small group, co-workers and friends.

The affirmation story in Friday Harbor began on the beach, with a group of men circled up around a beach fire. We were talking about our journeys in raising sons. We felt the need to affirm them and weren't sure how to go about it. This led to practicing affirmations amongst ourselves. Each guy lifted up the other, taking turns sharing words of affirmation around the fire. What an unforgetable evening! From this night, a wave of affirmations spread to men as far away as Lopez Island.

Affirmation

2008-07-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened on the way to a men's retreat. Here is the story. A few weeks ago, as I was preparing to give a message at our Lopez Island/Friday Harbor CTK men's retreat, I picked up an activity in affirming others. Monique, my wife, and I experienced affirming each other at a recent marriage conference and it was powerful. God used the time together to encourage us, pour His love into us, and give us the opportunity to love on each other, His way. The tool we used is titled, Experiencing Affirmation in Marriage and it can be purchased through the ministry of Leadership Catalyst. www.leadershipcatalyst.org They offer the same tool for affirming family members, leadership teams and small groups. I strongly encourage you to give it a try with your spouse, co-workers, friends and family.

The major theme of the retreat was unmasking, taking off the false protective layers of stuff that surround our hearts making it difficult, if not impossible, to receive love. I felt God saying to men that men, in the midst of unmasking, need to be affirmed and encouraged. There is not enough encouragement in our lives, in our culture and our God is an encourager.

Scriptures on encouragement... and the rest of the story in the next post.

Time and Space

2008-06-11T18:27:00.000-07:00

The disciple of Jesus Christ must create "time and space" in his/her daily life. As we looked at pace of life in the previous blog entry, this creation of time and space requires discipline in the life of the disciple today, just as it did in the first century.

This discipline begins from the moment we wake in the morning to the time we lay our heads down in the evening. The fillers of time and space for the disciple are the things we saw Jesus live out for us in relationship with his Father, and now our Father. As disciples who live under the New Covenant, these practices are not complex, but simple. The difficulty lies in our discipline and self-control.

We must practice and put on the "new man". I remember during my junior year of high school, I was really struggling with my jump shot. It was a pivotal year for me. I either improved my shot or suffer the consequences, not making the varsity basketball team in my senior year. I went to a college coach for help and then applied his teaching with hours and hours of backyard shooting practice. Change did not come easy but the results in the end were phenomenal; increased range and accuracy for my shot. I became a real shooting threat from 15-18 ft.

I was disciplined, creating the time and space for something that was important to me. That was back in 1968. It is now 2008 and I am a new creation in Christ. The Lover of my soul has rescued me from darkness and now I live in the light. Out of reverence to Him, motivated by love, I want to become more like Him. He has given me The Counselor, the Holy Spirit and power to overcome my laziness. I can create time and space with His help. Jesus wants to sit with me and talk to me. He is an incredible listener too.

Pace in Discipleship

2008-03-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

While viewing "Walking in the dust of the Rabbi", a video series that explores the depth of making disciples in the first century, a couple of us were awakened to what the pace of life must have been like when the "Rabbi" and His followers walked the byways of Israel and beyond.

We discussed the pace of life in those times and contrasted it with what we experience in our culture. I thought I'd look for a picture that portrays a life pace that many of us experience daily, if not a physical pace of coming and going, we can certainly conjure up a mental pace; the tyranny of the urgent. (see photo to the right)

It was obvious to us that we are in a battle. How can we slow down long enough to create a life pace that is conducive to making disciples? We see again that an upstream swim against the current is required for the Christ follower in a culture that has more and more distractions with each passing day. Living the LIFE requires age age old character quality modeled by the Savior; DISCIPLINE. Your thoughts?

Vulnerability and Submission

2008-02-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

Our journey in following Jesus has been quite a ride. My wife, Monique, and I have frequently been asked, how did you get to the point when you let go and trusted God for everything, launching out into marriage ministry. We both believe the launching point was a Sunday morning at church when we were given the opportunity to share with the congregation what God had one in saving our marriage from the brink of destruction.

That morning, the Holy Spirit spoke through us to proclaim Jesus Christ and the victory He had in bringing us back together from a time of separation. We were vulnerable, open and transparent with the people who God brought to church that Sunday. We submitted to God's leading and shared our sin before God and His followers. We embraced His love, acceptance and forgiveness which results in a hope that surpasses all understanding; a living hope for all marriages.

Submission is a love word. Have you ever thought of submission in regards to being loving? Read the passage below in the language of love, submission and vulnerability, from Jesus to his Father and before others.

Matthew 26:36-44 Amplified Bible

36Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and He told His disciples, Sit down here while I go over yonder and pray.
37And taking with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, He began to show grief and distress of mind and was deeply depressed.
38Then He said to them, My soul is very sad and deeply grieved, so that I am almost dying of sorrow. Stay here and keep awake and keep watch with Me.
39And going a little farther, He threw Himself upon the ground on His face and prayed saying, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will [not what I desire], but as You will and desire.
40And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and He said to Peter, What! Are you so utterly unable to stay awake and keep watch with Me for one hour?
41All of you must keep awake (give strict attention, be cautious and active) and watch and pray, that you may not come into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
42Again a second time He went away and prayed, My Father, if this cannot pass by unless I drink it, Your will be done.
43And again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were weighed down with sleep.
44So, leaving them again, He went away and prayed for the third time, using the same word

As we enter into a life of discipleship, we must put on the character of Christ, Christ in us, rooted in humility, submission and vulnerability. God opens doors for us to begin the disciple-making process when we take this simple step of faith. He has not given us a spirit of timidity, join with Him and connect with another person today.

Accountablilty??

2008-02-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

"Accountability is a principle of law and it will never ever, ever, ever, ever, assist you with sinning less. Accountability is a good thing when you measure tasks, it is never the right principle when you measure behavior, because it is a principle of law. Is it really possible for Christians to put so much confidence in the work of Jesus Christ (at Calvary) that we really do believe that He has already put in us a righteousness that can love, and instead of having to show you how good I am at anything, I humbly need to learn from you how to be loved? We get that right, and an early church changed the world."

What did he say? I'm listening to the TrueFaced Grace Series, a study through Romans 3-8, which is reaffirming what I believe to be true and it is being confirmed in relationships all around me. If you would be interested in purchasing this series on CD, and I highly recommend it, go to www.leadershipcatalyst.org

I have come to believe that by in large, "the church", doesn't understand GRACE; and for the most part lives under the law. Satan loves this by the way.

I do believe that discipleship cannot occur apart from environments of grace and relationships of trust. My experience is that these two essential ingredients in discipleship produce an "iron sharpening iron" relationship that is also healing and nurturing. What do you think?

Environments of Grace and Trust

2008-01-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

I believe the main nutrients in the soil of discipleship are grace and trust. Without these two nutrients, a real relationship, one of following Christ together will not grow. Preceding these relationship nutrients is acceptance. Here are a couple of quotes to chew on from, Beyond Your Best - authors Thrall, McNichol and McElrath, "You and I cannot give acceptance unless we have been willing to receive acceptance. I cannot receive your acceptance, no matter how much acceptance you have to give, if I fear trusting you. When both come together, acceptance and trust, there is a tangible, life-giving freedom released that spreads faster than butter on a warm cinnamon roll. When we experience grace in spite of our failures, we gain the strength to face the truth without fear. "

These nutrients are all embodied in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and they are available to us right now, in Him, He in us. Jesus encourages us, empowers us, strengthens us and uses us. The disciple journeys to know Him and give Him away. The disciple is living in His grace and trusting in his identity in Jesus.

Follow the Leader

2008-01-14T17:40:00.000-08:00

This scene is not uncommon for us in the San Juan Islands at certain times of the year. Salmon swimming in formation, seemingly following a leader. One thing that strikes me is that as they follow there is order. I wish I could catch one, one of these years, but that is another story.

"Follow the Leader", was also a warm-up activity I used to do with kindergarten and first graders in my elementary physical education classes. I was always amazed at how much fun the kids had either following me around the gym, hopping, skipping, galloping and or following one of their classmates. Teachers and aides who observed us from time to time always got a chuckle out of watching as the class orderly followed the leader around the gym. The purpose of the activity went beyond just warm-up, as it involved listening, observing and imitating.

I think this is not unlike what I experience in following Jesus. As his disciple, obeying His call to "come follow me", the journey brings order to my life. Embracing His love for me leads me to discipline which is not birthed out of compliance, but out of love. His love, acceptance and forgiveness pushes me out into others lives who are waiting for the gift that He will give through me.

My heart is warmed up by the Spirit as I connect with another as Jesus did during His earthly ministry. Love, joy, peace that surpasses all understanding fills my heart as I walk, following Him, discipling another. How about you? Are you experiencing fulfillment in your life through guiding another in the life of following Jesus?

Nomadic Hospitality

2008-01-09T19:34:00.000-08:00

In following Jesus in this journey to discover discipleship His way, a friend of mine mentioned that Jesus practiced "homeless" hospitality. I had never given that any thought. My view of hospitality always has my home as part of being hospitable. Inviting someone over to my house is the picture I get when I think of hospitality.

Yet Jesus did not have a home, so to speak, as he ministered his love throughout Judea and Samaria. He traveled on foot most of the time, staying with people wherever he was welcomed. Jesus lived out an attitude of hospitality as he was going along the highways and byways of the land.

He often experienced a lack of hospitality too. In Luke 9 we read, When it came close to the time for his Ascension, he gathered up his courage and steeled himself for the journey to Jerusalem. He sent messengers on ahead. They came to a Samaritan village to make arrangements for his hospitality. But when the Samaritans learned that his destination was Jerusalem, the refused hospitality.

The apostle Paul taught hospitality as he learned from Jesus, "Share with the saints in their needs, pursue hospitality." Romans 12:13 "Don't forget to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it." Hebrews 12:12 He exhorted leaders of the church to put on a hospitable attitude, see 1 Timothy and Titus.

Hospitality is part of the heart of a disciple and it is an initial step in making connections with people. Putting on hospitality is enabled by our listening to the Spirit and risking; getting out of our comfort zone. Hospitality can happen as we travel the arteries of our communities, at the local coffee shop (Starbucks), during our lunch hours, or on the weekends and it is not confined to our homes. Practice hospitality and discern the path of discipleship. It may be right in front of you.

Antenna's Up

2008-01-06T18:01:00.000-08:00

For you and I to connect with the life Christ calls us to in being a "disciple maker", we must have our antenna's up. I took this picture of my daughter Carly and her friend Faith just before they attended "The Bee Movie". The went to the show is costume.

The picture tells the story of something that is true about Faith and Carly. God has their attenna's up, for real! They are caring young ladies, who look to minister God's love and encouragement to their friends.

Jesus calls to us saying, "Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men." A lot has been made about "fishing" and linking it to evangelism. I think fishing is more about having our antenna's up in terms of relationships with people. The Holy Spirit will do the leading as we take the risk to connect with others. He lives in us. Yielding to the Spirit is a supernatural habit formed in us as we submit to Jesus and his leading.

Discipleship is birthed out of listening to God and the people He connects us with when our antenna's are up.

Faith

2007-12-29T12:50:00.001-08:00

The apostle Paul clearly spells out the way Jesus ransoms us in this life in his letter to the people who are caught up in The Way when he says; "It is by grace we are saved through faith, and this not of ourselves, it is a gift of God, not by works, so that no man can boast."

Ephesians 2:8-9

The discipleship journey is a life lived by faith in Jesus Christ. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews says this; "without faith it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11:6 Faith (trusting in God, all that He is, all that we are in Him) is foundational for disciples of Jesus. Faith empowers us to respond to Jesus' call to, "Come follow me." Faith and following produce actions. We are not left alone in initiating this action. When we place our faith in Jesus, we receive the promised Holy Spirit and are filled with the supernatural power to be transformed.

Are you a disciple? Becoming a disciple must begin by faith; faith in Jesus Christ.

Faith definition: Faith is choosing to believe the Bible is true regardless of my emotions, circumstances or cultural trends.

Discipleship Story

2007-12-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

I have been really exploring discipleship lately. My quest is to uncover the essence of "disciple making". The chairs in the picture represent the relational aspect of "disciple making" that one cannot ignore. Jesus walked along the dusty roads, sat on hillsides and in synagogues, stopped for a drink of water at the local water hole and wandered into the lives of people wherever he journeyed. He got "face to face" with people.

So when He tells us to "go and make disicples" I think He is telling us to move out into another's life. This seems consistent with all of his teachings; getting life's focus off of self and out to others, giving instead of receiving, etc.

As Bill Hull states in his book, Choose the Life, "Christ was a man for others. He claimed it and lived it." The son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many. Matt. 20:28

The face to face time he calls us to in the command to "go" (Matt. 28:18-20) is not an option for Christ followers. Have you placed your faith in Christ? Are you following Him? Are you ready to turn your chair to face another? Look around, God is stirring the heart of someone for you to meet with this week.

Launch Executed

2007-09-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

A launch team of dads, daughters, sons and other men successfully launched a new aerospace adventure here on San Juan Island. Rockets were blasting off at a rapid pace, soaring beautifully into the crystal clear skies above. We had fun and left the field crying for more.

It looks like another launch date will be on the horizon very soon. It was difficult to discern who was having more fun, the senior aerospace engineers or their apprentices.

Launch commander Jeff prepares the first rocket for launch.

Senior advisers Jeff and Roger work with Gavin to fine tune launch preparations.

Senior launch adviser Bill retrieves his rocket from a perilous landing near the trees. Whew!

The word for the day for me was FUN! It was great to see the hearts of men joining together for just plain fun. We were all excited to see and cheer on each other during the launches. The challenge of recovering rockets who went askew on their flight path was fun for everyone.

Gavin and Brett load up with rocket fuel.

Launch director Paul guards the ignition switch.

What are men to do?

2007-09-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

So, my son, throw yourself into this work for Christ. Pass on what you heard from me—the whole congregation saying Amen!—to reliable leaders who are competent to teach others. When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. A soldier on duty doesn’t get caught up in making deals at the marketplace. He concentrates on carrying out orders. An athlete who refuses to play by the rules will never get anywhere. It’s the diligent farmer who gets the produce. Think it over. God will make it all plain.

Peterson, E. H. 2003. The Message

This is from the apostle Paul's second letter to Timothy, a young man who Paul regarded as a son. Timothy loved Jesus Christ. Notice the encouragement Timothy receives from Paul in this letter. How would you respond if this letter and its encouragement were written to you? What specifics do you come away with for your journey? Come join a group of men who seek to apply the encouragement and truth we receive from Scripture to become more like Christ. First meeting is Tuesday Sept. 25th at Vic Woodward's home.

Winning at Work and Home

2007-08-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

We are going to launch into our 2nd year of Men's Fraternity in a big way on Sat. Sept. 22nd. Men, young and older will gather together for some "blast off" fun, sending their model rockets into the stratosphere. We will kick off the morning with a pancake breakfast and head out to a gravel pit for some earth shattering launches.

Then later in the month...

On Tuesday evening Sept. 25th we will launch into our second year of Men's Fraternity with the focus on Winning at Work and Home. Join me in prayer for the men that God will bring to this sweet time of fellowship centered on the encouragement and challenge that comes from His truth. If you are interested in joining us please send me a note in the comment box and I'll give you a call.

Quest Completed ?

2007-06-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

I think around 12 men completed the Quest for Authentic Manhood last April. It was a joy to join them in the journey of discovering who we are, and who God is molding us to be to His glory. We all came away better men, with life changing experiences to add to the story God is writing through our lives.

There was a healing touch from the Holy Spirit that empowered men during this study. God continues to do healing work in our hearts. He is releasing us into the men He wants us to be and presenting opportunities to minister to other men.

I think for me the Quest is ongoing as I follow Jesus. I need to be reminded to: reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously and expect God's greater reward.

There is more to come! Stay tuned!

Together with the mat

2007-02-26T14:18:00.000-08:00

I was reading in Luke 5:17-20 where "some men" joined together by faith, carried a paralyzed friend on a mat to see Jesus. They had heard of miracles and were moved by faith to take action to help their friend. The Scripture doesn't tell us how many men, but it must have taken more than a few to overcome the obstacles, "crowds" who came to see Jesus, and persevere in getting to the roof where they lowered their friend down to the Messiah.

What strikes me is that these guys joined together and what joined them was their faith in Jesus. The went shoulder to shoulder, pressing on, in strength and encouragement. They needed each other, because alone they wouldn't have been able to get their friend to the Great Physician.

We are no different in the times we live in today. We need each other in this journey with Jesus. We gather in faith to pursue knowing Jesus more deeply and living more fully.

Let's press on together to complete The Quest for Authentic Manhood, growing closer to the Savior and encouraging each other step by step, shoulder to shoulder.

Read Luke 5:17-26 when you get a chance. See you this week!

New beginnings

2007-01-11T15:46:00.000-08:00

Little did I know 30 years ago that my son Damon and my college
roomate Carl "Cooz" Couser's son Noah, would be in each others wedding ceremonies. Also, neither Carl or I had a relationship with Christ in the college years, yet both of our sons turned to trust in Jesus in their pre-teen years. Both of our boys put Christ in the center of their marriage ceremonies and He was glorified.

On December 30th in Missoula, MT, we celebrated Noah and Megan Couser's covenant with God. What a blessed evening. Carl and I would confess to you that we are not perfect Dad's but we did our best in " bringing them up in the training and instruction of our Lord". Ephesians 6:4
God is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in Damon and Noah!

As we embark on the second half of "The Quest for Authentic Manhood", we will learn more about our Lord's instructions to us and receive encouragement in the journey.

Now is the time to invite a friend, co-worker and bring your teenage sons. Our next Wednesday meetings are Jan. 17th, 6:00 a.m and 6:00 p.m. See you soon!

For To Us

2006-12-30T07:28:00.000-08:00

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;

And the governent will rest on His shoulders. Isaiah 9:6

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. ¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ^a the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”¹³Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,¹⁴“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:10-14

As I reflect on Christmas past and the above passages; it is significant to me and it should be for all of us I think, that Jesus came for us. As Robert Lewis mentioned in Session 13, "we are the reason for the season."

Looking ahead to the second semester of Men's Fraternity, The Quest for Authentic Manhood, we will see specifically the teachings of Jesus and walk together in the "how to's" of becoming men who are transformed by the Savior. I can't wait. See you on Wed. January 10th.

Happy New Year!

Healing the Father Wound

2006-12-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

I have been sharing with some of you my "father wound". My Dad, pictured here, was a fantastic provider and he helped to create many great memories for his family. Our travel trailering/camping trips which he planned were adventures that will always be remembered.

Nevertheless, I received a wound from Dad, one that stemmed from a disconnectedness. He really was never able to say "I love you", and was unable to tells us how he valued our individual gifts as boys and men.

During my Thanksgiving visits i continued to share my love for him, verbally and in caring for him, during our time together. One day, after i told him how much I love him, he said; "I love you". What a great blessing and gift he gave me that day.

I knew it was from God! I took the risk mentioned in "The Quest for Authentic Manhood" and received the blessing. I encourage you to do the same if your dad is still living.

If your dad is not around, here these words from Jesus , the Healer of our souls;
In the next two or three hours Jesus healed many from diseases, distress and evil spirits.To many of the blind he gave the gift of sight. Then he gave his answer; "Go back and tell John what you have just seen and heard:

The blind see,
The lame walk,
Lepers are cleased,
The deaf hear,
The dead are raised,
The wretched of the earth have God's salvation hospitality extended to them." Luke 7: 19- The Message

Jesus will heal your heart. You just need to ask Him and walk along The Way with other brothers who can lift you up in prayer. That is what "The Quest" is all about.

Plans for Manhood

2006-11-26T20:10:00.001-08:00

Planning seems to one of God's ways. An oft quoted Bible verse tells us; For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

In Isaiah 53:10 we read more of God's planning; Still, it’s what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain, the plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him. The Message

Through the prophet Jeremiah we learn that God makes plans. His plans are for our good, not for our ruin. We have been looking back into our wounds for the purpose of discovering the good He will make out of our pain. Through the prophet Isaiah we read of God's plan to redeem mankind.

Hmmm? I wonder if the work of putting our manhood plans in ink would please the God of plans? I kind of think so. How much progress are you making with your plan? He promises to make good out of your plan and that good will manifest itself in relationships.

I encourage you to let the ink flow to the paper. Get started. I did last week and things came out that were very encouraging and uplifting.

Mentoring

2006-11-16T18:44:00.000-08:00

Session 10 of The Quest has stirred a great deal of reflection for me. During the morning small group gathering I had a hard time recalling if I ever had any mentors. As the day wore on, several men came to my mind and then I recognized the positive contribution they made to my life. Each guy had something signifcant to share with me and I really think the "pouring in" to my life happened quite naturally. It was through the "hanging out" that prinicples were transferred.

I am also reflecting on the mentoring that has occurred for my son Damon while he was here in Friday Harbor. Just the other day he mentioned the names of some men who gave him wisdom, encouragement, confidence and perseverence. Pictured you see Adam Stone next to Damon at the county fair. Adam was one of the men who took Damon under his wing for a time.

Thank you to all the men who invested in me and my son!

All this to say, mentoring is significant and it is one of the primary ways God can use us as men to pour into the life of a younger boy or man. I hope and pray as you scratch out your "manhood plan", that you will also consider how you might mentor a young boy or young man. Iron can't sharpen Iron without a touch point.

Salmon and the Journey

2006-10-30T19:18:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to observe salmon swimming up river in Issaquah with my family and friends. The salmon were headed upstream against the current to spawn. They are beautiful in the last days of life, a bright red crimson color that makes them very visible in the water.

Yet, when you really observe them closely, you see that their beauty is most noticeable at a distance. Upon closer look you notice that their bodies are deteriorating. The journey upstsream wears them out physically and they become susceptible to bacteria and fungi. Some of them really look quite gross in the last leg of their quest for the spawing grounds.

The salmon's life cycle lasts from three to seven years. Instinctively they are guided through the cycle from freshwater beginnings, to ocean living and back up the streams to die. It is the life process that it carried out for salmon, created by God.

Solomon ponders our life cycle this way in Ecclesiastes chapter 3.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

We men are in a life journey with our Creator. Much like the salmon, we are in a life cycle. The beauty of this journey for us is that we have been given free will, intellect, emotions and God's Word for guidance and discernment to sense all that He has to offer. We have the mystery of uncertainity in that we don't know when our life season will end. We are left to TRUST our God, love Him with all our heart mind and soul. By His design, unlike the salmon, we are given the gift of relationships with others to pass on His love, acceptance and forgiveness; something that is everlasting.

Jesus makes this all possible for us and we get to take action, LOVE, for his glory.

The difficult truth for us humans (me) to come to grips with is that our bodies are slowly deteriorating much like the salmon. If I knew that my life cycle had an specific end point, (for example say 60 years), I wonder if I would live differently? What effect would that have on my life decisions? Would I be more understanding, more compassionate, more loving? Would I begin the "unpacking" process with a sense of urgency (develop my manhood plan), for the purpose of becoming the authentic man who lives a life of LOVE, GRACE and OBEDIENCE?

Your thoughts?

Uncertainity in Unpacking

2006-10-24T04:38:00.000-07:00

We are almost to the end of October and entering into our 7th session of the Quest for Authentic Manhood. I am so thankful for the bunch of men God has joined together for this journey. It is a privilege for me to be part of the "Quest" and discover all that God has for me with these guys.

As we continue on, a degree of uncertainty seems to be lying just under the surface of this journey for me, and I think for some others. What are you doing with me Lord in this "unpacking"? Why Lord? These are important questions to ask of God and continuing asking. I think this message from Oswald Chambers is a good one that speaks to uncertainty.

Gracious Uncertainty…it has not yet been revealed what we shall be…-1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next-that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life-gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God - it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, "…unless you…become as little children…" (Matthew 18:3). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, "…believe also in Me" (John 14:1), not, "Believe certain things about Me". Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in-but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

Your thoughts?

Unpacking The Suitcase

2006-10-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

As we enter the fall season of "The Quest for Authentic Manhood" it is a blessing to report that over 20 men are gathering together in the journey and locking arms to pursue all that God has for them in authentic manhood.

Right now we are all in the process of what Robert Lewis calls, "unpacking". The truth is, every man has a story. The story is referred to as his "suitcase". As our discussions begin in the process of "unpacking the suitcase", I find this tendency prevalent; life is running so fast, that it is easy to pass up the opportunity to "unpack". This is tragic, because it is in the "unpacking" that the healing process can begin and true freedom can be experienced.

I pray that we can set aside our fears and the pace of life so that "unpacking" takes place.

Socrates spoke these words to the jury in the court of Athens in the year 399 A.D. after he had been found guilty of heresy and sedition.

"The unexamined life is not worth living".

One Man's Story

2006-09-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

I attended the barbecue where the Men’s Fraternity program was introduced to the men from churches in Friday Harbor. We viewed a DVD of Robert M. Lewis promoting the program, especially The Quest for Authentic Manhood series. Frankly, the title kind of put me off. I am 72 years old and gave my life to Christ when I was 18 years old in college. So I was thinking “I am pretty sure about my manhood!” But as I listened to Robert I realized he had some very practical ideas about how to improve family relations.

What really grabbed me was his three things fathers need to tell their sons which I understood to be; “I love you”, “You are good at …….” and “I am proud of you”. They really resonated with my life experience and recently I said those very things to my 40 year old son who had just told me that he and his wife were getting a divorce. He blamed himself and said he felt like a complete failure to his kids.

So if I am already doing this, I thought on the way home, why would I want to spend my time taking this course? It was then the Lord hit me between the eyes by revealing to me that I have a wife and a daughter I have never said that to! I couldn’t wait to find the chance to say those three things to them. I told each of them at an appropriate time and you must know they loved hearing it. And you also must know I will be taking the course.

Chuck VandeWetering
Friday Harbor

Building Foundations

2006-09-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

In the Quest for Authentic Manhood this year we will be building a foundation for manhood, much like what Dave and Josh did with their rocket during our father/son BBQ outreach. Join us in building foundations that will leave legacies.

You Are Not Alone

2006-09-14T14:06:00.000-07:00

Many of us have heard the Bible passage, "As Iron Sharpens Iron, so one man sharpens another", Proverbs 27:17

This passage suggests that we need each other. For us to be used in each others lives, we need to be connected. We need to understand that we are not alone.

Join us in the Quest. Discover you are not alone!

New Group Forming

2006-09-14T13:14:00.000-07:00

Another group of men are joining together to embark on the journey in the Quest for Authentic Manhood. They will meet on Saturday mornings at Friday Harbor Presbyterian Church. Pancake breakfast is served at 7:00 a.m. and the study starts at 8:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m.

In the picture, a brain trust of rocketeers seek the plans for building an atmosphere defying rocket at our men's BBQ outreach.

So far, close to 30 men are launching into the Quest each week. You are more than welcome to join us.

Men's Fraternity Launch

2006-09-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

The Quest for Authentic Manhood begins on Wednesday Sept. 13th at Paideia School. Come check it out! Join us as we venture out of a life of wandering and wondering to discover a manhood plan. Two men's groups are forming. One group meets from 6 a.m. - 7:30 a.m., the other from 6 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

Listen to what one pastor says about The Quest -

“Men’s Life, our weekly men’s event is modeled after the Men’s Fraternity curriculum and concept developed by Robert Lewis. I believe this may be the single most impactful event I’ve been involved in in 30 years of ministry. It is revolutionizing men’s lives and playing a signifi cant role in the transformation of our congregation. If you’re looking to kick-start your ministry, try this program!”

David Peterson, Senior PastorMemorial Drive Presbyterian Church, Houston, Texas

In the picture above, rocketeers Jack and Paul work together to build their rocket during our outreach BBQ for men. They are ready to launch into the Quest.